{"id":12,"date":"2017-04-10T15:59:02","date_gmt":"2017-04-10T15:59:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wcsu.wpengine.com\/counseling\/making-friends\/"},"modified":"2025-07-11T15:27:37","modified_gmt":"2025-07-11T15:27:37","slug":"making-friends","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.wcsu.edu\/counseling\/making-friends\/","title":{"rendered":"Making Friends"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

COLLEGE LIFE AND NEW FRIENDS<\/strong><\/p>\n

College is a time of excitement, challenge and growth — SOCIALLY as well as academically. But being in a new environment for the first time may not be an easy transition for everyone.\u00a0 At first, it may be difficult to feel comfortable with your new peers.\u00a0 For students who live on campus, you are put into a situation where it may seem a little easier to connect with others by the simple fact that you are living day in and day out with them, but this can also be overwhelming.\u00a0 For commuter students, the challenge may be meeting people and staying connected. In either case, some students may find it difficult to make new friends.<\/p>\n

Loneliness is a feeling that many encounter as they begin the transition to college. Fear is another feeling that students may experience.\u00a0 Both of these emotions can actually keep you from getting out there and meeting people.\u00a0 It is important to know that these feelings are normal — so if you feel them, you may have to push yourself a little harder to do things.<\/p>\n

There are lots of things to do on a college campus.\u00a0 But even if you don’t do something with someone else, you can always do something by yourself.\u00a0 Who knows you may meet someone that way! Enjoying a hobby or activity by yourself can be very uplifting and help you to feel better.<\/p>\n

Remember that college is your time to learn and experience new things.\u00a0 You can make the most of it. You just may need a little assistance to get started.\u00a0 The following are steps to consider when making friends.\u00a0\u00a0There are also some guidelines to follow that you may find helpful.<\/p>\n

A word of caution:\u00a0 If you do not feel yourself, or if you feel very sad or depressed, there may be other factors involved that need to be addressed by a mental health professional.\u00a0 You can call Counseling Services (203)837-8690 if you feel any of these emotions are overwhelming to the point where you cannot manage them alone.<\/strong><\/p>\n

STEPS IN FRIENDSHIP MAKING<\/strong><\/p>\n

Meeting people can be looked at as a series of tasks.\u00a0 There are certain things you can do to be successful at it. But it should not be looked at as a chore!\u00a0 It is fun and exciting to meet new people.<\/p>\n

Step One.<\/strong> \u00a0The first step is to be positive<\/strong>.\u00a0 The more positive the energy you put out, the more likely you are to receive positive energy in return.\u00a0 How can you put out positive energy? See step two.<\/p>\n

Step Two.\u00a0 RELAX and BE<\/strong> YOURSELF!<\/strong> \u00a0Trying to be different to please others compromises your individuality and your integrity.\u00a0 Be proud of who you are.\u00a0 We all have faults and things we may not like about ourselves. \u00a0We don’t judge others nearly as harshly as we judge ourselves. So go easy on yourself.\u00a0 People will like you for you, taking the good with the not so good. No one is perfect, so don’t try to be!<\/p>\n

And the more you are yourself, the more relaxed you will be, because you won’t be focusing on what you think you should be doing. The more relaxed you are, the easier it is to get along with and interact with others.<\/p>\n

Step Three<\/strong>. Figure out who and what type of people<\/strong> you want<\/em> to hang out with.\u00a0 People generally connect with those who are most similar to themselves.\u00a0 If you are athletic and like to either participate in or watch sports and you know of someone with similar interests, you may want to ask them to attend some games here at Southern with you.\u00a0 Sharing similarities with people can be fun.\u00a0 And, it usually allows you the opportunity to get to know someone a little better.\u00a0 So try to think about who you are as a person, and what kind of friend you would like.\u00a0 The better you know yourself, the better you will be able to identify what you will like in other people.<\/p>\n

Step Four.<\/strong> Put yourself out there<\/strong>.\u00a0 Get involved in activities and events that you enjoy. Chances are you’ll meet people there who enjoy similar activities.\u00a0 You have to go where people are in order to meet people!\u00a0 Don’t sit around waiting for them to come to you.\u00a0 Join a club or organization.\u00a0 Attend lectures and programs that seem interesting.\u00a0 Go to university functions, like sporting events and socials.\u00a0 Join a study group or go to the library.\u00a0 The more chances you have to meet people, the better the odds will be that you will!<\/p>\n

Step Five.<\/strong> Stay connected<\/strong>. \u00a0After you have met some people that you like and feel comfortable with, stay in contact with them.\u00a0 You can call or visit on a regular basis.\u00a0 You may have a regular meeting time based on a class or organization you are a part of with them.\u00a0 During that time, you can make arrangements to do other things with them, or to call each other.\u00a0 Pick up on their cues. If they call you back right away, or if they wait a week to get back to you, it may tell you what level of friendship they are looking for from you. \u00a0Here are some more guidelines you may want to follow in trying to meet new people.\u00a0 Remember to have fun and enjoy yourself. Many times, the friends you make in college last a lifetime!<\/p>\n

WHAT DO I SAY\/DO?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sometimes it’s hard to think of things to say.\u00a0 But generally, if you are in a particular setting you can talk about things specific to that setting.\u00a0 For example, in class, you can talk about a particular assignment, “Where did you find information on our homework topic?”\u00a0 In the residence halls, you can talk about classes, about living arrangements.\u00a0 You can watch movies or TV together and talk about that, too.<\/p>\n

Ask open-ended questions, as opposed to closed-ended questions.\u00a0 An open-ended question is one where the person is asked a question that can’t simply be answered by “yes” or “no”. A closed-ended question is one that can be answered with “yes” or “no”.\u00a0 Examples: Closed-ended: “Did you go to the football game?” Open-ended: “What did you think of the football game?”<\/p>\n

It’s important not to force yourself to say something. Sometimes it’s okay to be with people and not say anything.\u00a0 Additionally, forcing yourself to do something that you normally would not do or you think is unsafe in any way, is not a good idea.\u00a0 Everyone has values, opinions, and morals that they live by.\u00a0 You have a right to yours and people will respect you for sticking to them (not to mention that you will respect yourself more!).<\/p>\n

WHERE SHOULD I GO? (CAMPUS RESOURCES)<\/strong><\/p>\n

There are many places on campus to go and meet people. It may seem more difficult as a commuter student, but there are lots of things going on all over campus — all the time! Read posters, and flyers that are posted. They are there for one reason — YOU! Various organizations, departments and individuals plan activities for students to take advantage of every week. Most of the time they are free or at a reduced student fee, so all you have to do is show up!<\/p>\n

Some ideas for you to get started:<\/strong><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Check flyers and postings for upcoming events.<\/li>\n
  2. Read the campus newspaper for programs and future happenings.<\/li>\n
  3. Talk to classmates and floor mates or an RA to find out what is going on that you might be interested in.<\/li>\n
  4. Visit the University Student Center — there are always events and programs going on or being advertised there.<\/li>\n
  5. Join a club or organization of interest to you – contact the Dean of Students or residence life for a list of campus groups.<\/li>\n
  6. Listen to others talk — no, not eavesdropping! When you are in conversation listen to what others have to say about what’s going on around campus.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    HOW CAN I BE A GOOD FRIEND?<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Very simply — by treating others the way you would like or expect to be treated. Be kind, polite and respectful of others. And if they are not the same in return, you may want to consider how true a friend this person really is.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    WCSU Counseling Services
    \nStudent Health & Wellness Center
    \n(Connected to Newbury Hall)
    \n181 White Street, Danbury, CT 06810<\/p>\n

    Phone: (203) 837.8690
    \nEmail:\u00a0CounselingServices@wcsu.edu<\/a>
    \nInstagram:\u00a0    wcsu_counselingservices<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    COLLEGE LIFE AND NEW FRIENDS College is a time of excitement, challenge and growth — SOCIALLY as well as academically. But being in a new environment for the first time may not be an easy transition for everyone.\u00a0 At first, …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":273,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"left-navigation.php","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-12","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wcsu.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/12","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wcsu.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wcsu.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wcsu.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/273"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wcsu.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.wcsu.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/12\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wcsu.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}